


Sam's Thoughts

by Baisleac (SiberianSpring)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F, Ficlet, Internal Monologue, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 10:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiberianSpring/pseuds/Baisleac
Summary: Sam waits for Cassie and thinks (as if she could stop *chuckles*)





	Sam's Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Found a cool site called "Wake Up Writing!" One of the exercises was this:  
> Your exercise today is to incorporate all of the following words into an article, short story, poem or whatever comes to mind. You must use all of the words (in any order) to complete the exercise, but the context in which they are used is up to you. Think about the words for a few minutes before you start to write and see what pictures come to mind - then see if you can weave them all together into a piece of writing.
> 
> Blind, Emotion, Luggage, Icing, Marker, Harmony, Division, Cling, School, Temptress

They say love is blind. I suppose in some ways I can see what the expression meant. Take Jack for instance. He thinks he's in love with me. He doesn't see that the two of us are too opposite to ever work. I like thinking and he'd rather be doing. It's that whole, “Shoot first, ask questions of the body later,” thing. I can't imagine living that way. He can't imagine anything else.

Then there's that whole ex-wife problem of his. As much as he thinks he loves me, he won't see that he secretly longs to be back with his wife. Some of that is tied in with Charlie, but much of it is Sara. Yet, he still clings to the idea of he and I, regardless of what he should be able to see. So if he is in love with me, love is, indeed, blind.

Then there are those issues he can't see. Lord, I hope he can't see them. You see, I'm in love with someone else. Someone I shouldn't even be thinking about, let alone be in love with. Someone who makes sure I don't work until I drop. Someone who makes sure I have lemon icing on my birthday cake. Someone who fills me with an emotion that is too indescribable to be limited with a simple four-letter word. Someone who completes me, even if she doesn't realize it.

Yes, I am in love with another woman. You think that's okay? Well, good on you. That's a healthy way of thinking. Unfortunately, the U.S. Military doesn't. And I don't think she does either. She's never shown any indication that she looks at other women that way. Hell, she's been married. No, I don't think so. That pint-size temptress would never even imagine it.

So, I sit here in front of the local school, waiting to pick up my love's daughter. Once again, realizing the futility of my feelings. I’m hoping Cassie will hurry, so that she can drag me away from this morbid discussion with myself. When I'm around such innocent joy, I can't help but be happier. She fairly bubbles with enthusiasm and excitement and it effects everyone she meets.

Not to mention that we'll only be one meal away from going to pick Janet up from the airport. She'll be back in a couple of hours. We've missed her, Cassie and I, while she was at that conference in Chicago. But soon she'll be home, with her endless piles of luggage. How that woman can pack so much for just a few days is beyond me. And I'll get to join them for dinner, to pretend that we are actually a family. No division of your space/my space. Just that simple harmony of being together and enjoying each other’s company.

A tapping on the window jolts me out of my thoughts and I stare dumbly at Cassie for just a moment before unlocking the doors to let her in.

"Sam! Where were you? I called your cell to let you know I got caught up in that project in the chem. lab. Mom should be arriving any time now. Sam? Shouldn't we be heading to the airport?" Cassie rambles.

I offer a shoulder hug as hello and start the car. As I pull away from the curb, and the marker designating the parent waiting area, Cassie tell me about her day in that nonstop, can't pause for breath way that all preteens have. I just lean back and put my dark thoughts away and love being where I am.

**Author's Note:**

> My second attempt at writing. Ficlet, written in June 2003 and finally posted on LiveJournal in October 2003. Found it while looking for something else and figured I'd stick it on AO3 too.


End file.
